Short Story- Learning to Lose

Patience and waiting wasn't something she did often. She didn't usually sit around for something to happen.

But, this was an exception. The phone sat silent on the table in front of her, still not ringing. She paid close attention to it, waiting, hoping. He hadn't called yet. He was late, she expected him to call, to tell her of his reason. But, he didn't. She sat there, anxious and doubtful. She trusted him. She really did. But, there was something in her gut. A feeling that kept pestering her. Something was wrong.

Horribly wrong.

She didn't know what had happened, but something tragic had taken place. She was sure of it.

It was one of those moments where she felt deeply connected towards Bryan. She didn't have to be around him to feel like something is wrong. All there was, was a signal going off inside of her head.

A warning. It's as if, she mentally felt what he was feeling. She usually wasn't one to believe in those tales. But, he was an exception. He made her believe in things that she never considered. Like love.

He taught her to love him, she fell for him. Something she'd never thought she'd do again.

He had saved her.

She sighed and placed her elbow onto the table, resting her chin in the cup of her palm. He would call. She knew it. It was simply a misunderstanding. He would have a perfectly good reason. Surely, he wouldn't do anything harmful towards their relationship. Not when they're just getting started.

Minutes seemed to pass, then an hour. She hadn't moved. She was growing aggravated, tired. Yet, she still had faith. He would arrive. The phone would ring.

Her thoughts drifted while she waited. She'd been thinking about cutting her longish, brown hair. But, she knew how Bryan admired her long hair. She wanted to please him. To make him happy, because his happiness came before her's. Always. She didn't understand what people meant by that. She'd scoff at couples. But now, she feels it. She would do anything to make him joyful, to cause him to smile. They completed each other like that. She discovered a lot of things since him.

She remembered a couple years before, in their high school years. She recalled how he had wooed her, how he had befriended her. How she had fell in love with him. It had happened too suddenly.

Yet, she knew she'd spend her life with him. He had convinced her, she had given in. Accepted her destiny.

Suddenly, the phone rang, breaking her out of her dazed thoughts. Her heart beat immediately sped up, it jumped and leaped. She was excited. Picking up the phone and assuming it was him, she answered hastily.

"Hey."

But, an unfamiliar voice echoed throughout her ears. She saddened in disappointment.

"Hello. Is this Bridget Hale?" The woman asked.

Soon to be Bridget Mill. She thought happily.

"Yes, this is her." Bridget responded, impatiently wondering what this was about.

"I'm sorry, but your fiance has been in a horrible accident." She froze. What? No. This had to be a mistake. He's fine. He's perfectly okay, he's on his way here now. Bryan had to be healthy.

"Is this a joke?" She asked angrily.

The woman sounded confused. "No. Bryan has been in a car crash."

The words took a moment to register into her head. Denial was her first reaction. He had to be alive.

This couldn't be happening.

Hurriedly, she asked the woman where Bryan was situated at, the nurse responded telling her Bryan wouldn't make it, then told her the hospital name. Bridget scoffed. Of course he would be alright. he had to be. He wouldn't leave her, he promised he'd always be there for her. She snapped at the woman, then hung up the phone. Bridget was right, the woman over the phone was wrong. She had to be.

Hastily, she grabbed her keys and was out the door, not wasting a moment of time. Bridget sped towards the hospital in a crazed way. She needed to get there. She needed to see for herself.

Sloppily parking, she ran into the entrance. Slapping her hand onto the desk, she demanded to see Bryan. The woman seemed intimidated by her tone of voice. She quickly gave Bridget the information. Then, Bridget sped walked towards the elevator, got to the correct floor, and ran into Bryan's room.

There he was. Lying on the hospital bed, looking horribly pale. His light brown hair seemed dull and matted. There were bruises and bandages all over him. He still looked handsome. In her eyes, he seemed okay. He would make it. Her delusions blocked out reality.

A nurse then came in.

She immediately jumped down the poor woman's throat. "What's happened with Bryan? When can he come home?"

The nurse glanced at her. "Ah, you must be his fiance. I'm sorry, but he's not going to make it home tonight."

Bridget frowned. "Okay, then when?"

The nurse peered closely at her, in an almost pitiful and concerned way. "I'm sorry, but didn't they tell you? Bryan's not going to live. He won't be going home, not ever."

Bridget stiffened. The tears were welling up in her eyes. No. She's lying. He would come home. They would eat dinner together, and live a long, happy life. He promised her. Bryan doesn't break promises.

"You're wrong." Bridget muttered, not wanting to believe it.

The woman gazed at her sadly. "He most likely won't make it through the night. If you're lucky, he might wake up every now and then. But, his chances are low."

With that, she left. Leaving Bridget alone with her sorrow and dying lover. The pain was too overwhelming. This couldn't be it for him. He was too young. Bryan was supposed to do great things in life. It wasn't his time.

Bridget sat by his bed; not moving. Nurses came in and out, but never bothered her. She was going to break soon. The reality was seeping into her. Her hope was withering, she simply didn't want to accept the truth.

Hours passed, nothing had changed. She didn't know what the time was, she didn't notice what was happening around her. All that she could think of was Bryan.

Her eyes were bloodshot. Her body ached. She wouldn't give in. She would wait. If she fell asleep, she might miss something.

But, that motivation didn't last long. Her tiredness eventually caught up to her, and she fell into a deep slumber.

Loud beeping noises woke her up. Rubbing her eyes, she sleepily looked around, attempting to find the source of the annoying noise. Then, it dawned on her. Sitting up, she widened her eyes and glanced at the machine hooked up to Bryan. The lines were moving. It was beeping consistently. His health and status was going lower. The number wouldn't stop decreasing.

"Please no." She sobbed out, holding onto Bryan's hand, gripping it dearly. She knew what the signals meant. He was losing consciousness. Slowly. Gradually. Horribly.

This couldn't happen.

The nurses came running in, she moved out of the way. They poked and probed, checked his heartbeat. Nothing would help. He was fading. Already too far gone.

Then, it was too late.

Bridget shoved the nurses out of the way, then sat by Bryan, leaning over him desperately.

"Come on wake up, Bry. You told me you wouldn't leave. Please wake up. Open your eyes dammit."

She was frantically yelling now, her shoulders shaking. The tears were spilling. The nurses watched tragically from afar, trying not to sob at the scene.

"Don't do this to me!" Bridget choked out, shaking Bryan. It was no use, he was already gone. She screamed out and lay her head on his comforting chest.

They were going to get married. They were going to travel. All their plans were buried now. She was all alone. He was no longer here to love her. She was devastated. Bridget couldn't find the energy to move or scream anymore. To pound on him for leaving her, to shake him to wake up.

Any moment now, she expected for him to open his ocean-blue eyes. To stare at her lovingly and tell her everything would be alright. To give her his charming smile that she loved.

The nurses had eventually pried her away. Bridget couldn't sleep. She barely ate. She was a mess.

The day came for his funeral. She still couldn't accept it. When she went up to the podium to say a few words, she tried her best to not break down crying. She felt weak. Dispirited. When they dropped the coffin with his body inside into the ground, she still couldn't believe it. Her eyes watched as he descended into the ground. It took a few seconds. But the truth finally seeped into her. She finally realized. He was dead. Her lover wasn't coming back. She would be doomed to grieve and miss him until her death.

She trembled. Her bread-down was arriving. She couldn't stand to be around people. She felt as if she were suffocating. Not waiting around for them to throw dirt over his resting place, she ran. Ignoring the worried yells, she left the grave. She sprinted until she came behind the church, a deserted place where nobody was. She fell into the dirt and sobbed. She screamed, tugged at her hair, her breathing became erratic. She couldn't control herself. Her emotions were everywhere.

Dead. Gone. Not coming back. The reality was a punch in the stomach. She couldn't handle it. Her tears kept falling, even after she was too numb to cry out anymore. She lay in the dirt, completely distressed and despondent. She never got to tell him that she loved him one last time. She never got to say goodbye. She wanted his arms. She craved his comfort and words. His soft caress. His warm self.
But he wasn't here. She couldn't have that anymore.

Bridget let out one last sob. She was breathing heavily. She could barely get it back. After her sudden attack, she left. Not bothering to tell anyone. She left and went home, then lay in her bed. She lay there, lost in memories and sadness.

She wanted to end herself. She didn't want to live without him. Without Bryan, she had no happiness.

He was her happiness, she was his. Without him, there was a void that couldn't be filled. She wasn't living anymore, only existing.

She knew Bryan wouldn't want her to give up. He'd want her to keep going. So that's what she did. She tried. She lived. But, that's it. She was already dead. Mentally. Emotionally. Losing Bryan was like losing a part of herself.

Everyday, she visited his grave. She told him things that happened. She cried and banged onto the dirt. She told him she loves him. Then, she would leave. Come back the next day. Then, do the same thing.

She never understood how it felt to lose your other half until now. It was breaking her from the inside. Destroying her. She missed him. But, she had to survive. People died. People vanished. It's the way of life. She'd wait until her end came naturally, then she would be at peace. When her time came, she'd finally be with Bryan again. Not in an afterlife, but in death. They'd be peaceful together. She wouldn't have to live with the suffering anymore.

Bridget knew now, what it was like to truly love. Then, what it was like to lose your lover. She was able to experience one last thing because of him. But this time, he wasn't there to see it. She was alone, completely lost and numb.