Anger; a prose poem

Anger starts off small. It begins as a dim irritation and bitterness then slowly builds with each day. 

Anger is an emotion that’s uncontrollable; like a raging fire that can’t be stopped. It’s consuming and blinding. It’s an overwhelming feeling that can screw you over if not dealt with properly.

The rage; it’s a scary feeling. That building fire in the pit of your stomach that you know you can’t stop. It’s scary, knowing what anger can do to someone. Someone who can be soft and kind. It turns angels into monsters. It comes and goes sure, but the overall outcome is terrifying when it comes up like a volcano about to erupt.

The shaking of the hands, the grinding of the teeth, the heat building and feeling like you have no control over your body and mouth. It’s like being possessed by yourself. An ugly version of you. 

Someone you hate bringing out in public.

You let them free in the privacy of enclosed spaces with no one around that you can hurt. But sometimes, unfortunately, they slip out into the open and terrify everyone around you. Once that raging fire comes out into the public and once the people see that mess of insanity there’s no going back.

The reputation and mask that you’ve built up to try and save yourself breaks away and you become a stranger to people around you in the moment of the heat.

Anger is powerful. It’s dark red and paralyzing. It can’t be tamed or held back. The lashing out and violent words eventually sneak their way out. It turns you into a raging stallion that damages anything in its path. It leaves whomever gets into its way burnt and damaged; wounds that can’t be forgotten or healed.

The anger and rage. The terrible resentment and loathing. Wrath and fury. Overwhelming indignation and aggravation over minor and major things. Consuming annoyance. It builds up over the years and it comes out in small pieces or shows itself in an enormous explosion.

Some deal with it in minor ways and it doesn’t become a big part of who they are.

Some anger is small and delicate. It can be held back and contained. It comes out softly and in slight ways. Some anger is regular and average, the type that comes out appropriately. It’s the type of anger that doesn’t come out due to being held down for so many years. It shows in the right moment.

Others are unfortunate. The rage becomes ugly and explosive. It becomes a part of that being. All they are, all that they will be, is angry. Violent. Aggressive. It’s the outcome of pushed down emotions and hate.

Once that door is opened, it can’t be shut or stopped. It’s a building storm that’s stuck on repeat.

Seething, spitting and fuming, it’s a boiling pit of heat and trembles.

It’s always being in rotten moods, getting weird looks in public and always walking on eggshells. Just waiting for anything, anyone, to trigger and set off the ticking bomb of fury. Constantly fighting to hold yourself and bite your tongue. Constantly having internal battles of telling yourself to stop and not explode.

Anger is feeling defensive over everything and feeling physical pains and urges; some so strong it almost knocks you off your feet and makes your head spin. It’s snapping easily and pacing back and forth. Screaming in frustration when you’re alone and doing petty, wrathful things without thinking. It's a burning and endless disease that can't easily be cured.

It’s feeling hopeless and hateful of yourself as you take it out on others but not being able to stop. It’s like an out of body experience; watching it all unfold but having no control. Feeling so evil and ill.

Crazed eyes and whispers behind your back; feeling so helpless yet enraged and empowered.

Eventually, the anger and pure hate gets turned around and directs itself at you.

The strength that it takes to hold the anger back is like trying to contain and raging bull. It’s hopeless and almost impossible.

It’s simply an ugly emotion and turns once good people into a raging, bad-tempered disaster; and everyone knows disasters ruin everything in their path.

Especially when it's out of control and has built up too much.