1995
Amelia hid in her room as the tone of deafening, angry voices filled her ears once again. She was tired of it. She didn’t know why they fought so intensely. The problems of her parents were kept a secret and hidden from her child-like mind.
Lillian, her sister, would never hint at anything either. Lillian would often comfort and soothe Amelia’s uneasiness and worry when their parents fought.
But she wasn’t here right now. Lillian was at a birthday party. Amelia had no one to share her confusion with. She was alone with her discouraging thoughts.
She lay in her bed and felt tears prick her eyes, then slowly slip down her soft child-like skin. Her mother was supposed to take her to the park today. Her plain brown hair was tied in pigtails and she was already dressed in appropriate clothes and had her new sneakers on. But her mother seemed busy. Amelia didn’t want to disturb them. The last time she had gotten in the middle of their fight; her father had yelled at her.
His violent voice had frightened her. She didn’t like it when her father was in aggressive moods. His voice would boom and his face would turn a dark apple red color.
When she tried to hug him, he had pushed her away roughly. Her father had never gotten physical with her like that before. Mother had scolded him, then proceeded to gently shoo Amelia away. She had told her to go wait and play outside.
Amelia didn’t want to leave her with father. But she also didn’t wish to make her unhappy. So, she obeyed and had gone outside to sit in isolation and uncertainty.
Sighing, Amelia slowly got off her bed without tidying her wrinkled, pink covers. Hesitantly, she took a few steps towards the door, paused, then took a few more.
Cracking open the door, she glanced into the lightly lit hallway. The angry voices became louder as the door wasn’t blocking it from fully reaching her ears anymore. She winced at the tone and trembled. Listening to them yelling was like experiencing an earthquake.
Slowly, Amelia dragged her feet towards where the voices were coming from. She came upon her parent’s room. The door was slightly cracked. It was enough for her to peek inside without being seen.
Amelia observed the scene with wide eyes. Her mother’s back was facing her, but she could see her father’s face. It was full of disdain as he stared at Amelia’s mother. He said something hurtful, Amelia saw her freeze.
Her mother slapped his chest and yelled at him. Amelia wanted to turn away, but her legs wouldn’t move. She didn’t realize that she was shaking either.
It all happened too quickly. Her father lifted his hand in a rapid manner and slapped Amelia’s mother, causing her to fall to the ground helplessly from the strength of the blow. Everything then became too quiet. Amelia discreetly choked back a sob.
That was the first time she had witnessed heart-stopping fear. It was in that moment Amelia was afraid that her father was going to kill her mother. Then finish Amelia off.
He heard Amelia’s cry and looked towards the doorway, but she was gone before he could see her. Or, hurt her.
Amelia ran towards the front door, not thinking clearly. She needed to escape, Amelia felt as if she could barely breathe. Fear crawled inside her brain and made a den, clawing and whispering at her like a frantic, vile demon.
He could kill her. She thought quickly and repeatedly.
No he wouldn’t do that. She tried so hard to reason with the demon saying these awful things but her thoughts were going in circles and driving her mad like a record on repeat. One thought barged in, another would come after that. Any thoughts of reason got lost in the blur of her paranoia.
Amelia pushed open the front door and hastily ran outside without shutting it.
She almost clumsily tripped over her own feet, but quickly caught herself. She ran down the neighborhood street until she reached the woods. She didn’t stop there. Amelia ran until she felt as if she would collapse and her tiny heart would explode out of her chest.
Suddenly coming to a stop, the shaken child felt her strength weaken. Falling onto her bottom, she placed her hands on the dark soil beneath her to steady herself.
Looking around, Amelia noticed that she was in the middle of an unfamiliar part of the forest.
She didn’t mind though. Out here in the strange woods she could be free to release her pain. She felt a sense of peace as if the trees were her friends. The leaves and branches would bend down and engulf her with warmth and empathy as if to say it’ll be alright, we’ll keep you safe. They shielded her from the world and the whispering of the harsh wind blowing through the air stinging her bare arms and sounding like a blur of screeching ghosts.
Releasing out a broken-sounding sob, Amelia wept until her throat was sore and her eyes were bloodshot and tired. Rapid tears were falling fast sliding down like slime sticking to her skin.
The memory of her father hitting her mother with such an intensity was still fresh in her mind. Since she was young, it was hard for Amelia to comprehend why he did it. She didn’t understand. But, all she knew was that it was scary. It was haunting her.
If her daddy loved them, why would he be so cruel? The question wheeled itself through her head and made the child doubt many things in her life. But then another question popped into her fragile mind. Maybe this is what love is?
The worn-out girl let her head drop downwards. Her hands curled around her knees until she was huddling against the inviting tree, now silently sobbing. Her fragile body shivering and shaking. Her breathing came out rough and rapid. She wished she could just crawl inside the hole in the tree and stay there forever in the quiet, safe darkness.
Amelia halted her cries when suddenly she heard the crunch of a leaf, then the sound of soft and calm breathing. She hesitantly looked up and squinted, peering up at the shape a few feet in front of her.
The form walked forwards until it was beside her, then suddenly shifted downwards until it was sitting next to her, leaving some space between them.
She turned her face away and hid her sorrowful expression. She didn’t wish for the stranger to see her pain. She felt humiliated and broken. The person didn’t go away though. In fact, they spoke.
“Are you alright?” The voice asked hesitantly.
She realized from the slight tone difference that the person was a young boy. She cautiously turned her head towards his direction and suspiciously gazed at him.
Amelia noticed a light bruise forming on his cheek, yet thought nothing of it. He reached out to lightly touch her thin arm, but she flinched at the sensation of his skin pressing onto her own. The touch merely reminded Amelia of daddy hitting mommy.
At her unexpected reaction, he quickly pulled his hand away and coughed awkwardly.
She bit her lip and stared at the ground, observing the nature surrounding her. Strands of her short brown-blondish hair lightly blew from the wind.
He tried to speak again. “What are you doing out here all alone?”
She felt a burst of confidence and decided to answer.
“I could ask you the same thing.” Came her croaky reply, as her voice was hoarse from weeping.
He snorted. “I just needed to get away from my home I guess.”
Amelia looked at him with a sudden newfound interest. “Oh, me too actually.” He seemed surprised at that comment.
“I understand. How old are you?” The boy asked wonderingly, casually playing with a twig that lay on the ground.
She hesitated to tell her age. Amelia’s mother always said to not give personal information to strangers. But then, she suspected he was no danger. She didn’t need to worry.
“I’m four, I’ll be five soon.”
He nodded and attempted to give a half smile. “I’m already five.”
“That’s nice.” She replied instantly, her voice low; like a whisper.
Amelia felt cold drops of liquid land onto her skin and realized it had started to drizzle. The shade and branches of the trees hanging above her were blocking most of it, but she figured it was time to leave. Her mother might be worried. She would love nothing more than to stay out here in the forest where it is safe and quiet. She wanted to let the drops from the rain wash her pain away.
The girl got up, he followed her actions.
“Are you sure you’re alright? You seemed to be sad.” The boy stated bluntly, yet with a slight note of concern playing around in his tone of voice. He stared at her with wide, innocent eyes.
Amelia nodded reassuringly, feeling slightly better. “Yes, I’m okay now. Thanks.”
She answered in a polite way, remembering how her mother always told her to use manners and to speak nicely.
The boy nodded and lightly kicked some leaves with the toe of his shoe, shoving his hands in the pockets of his pants. His eyes held a certain soft and friendly emotion. “That’s good.”
Amelia nodded then decided nothing more was meant to be said. She turned away and was about to walk towards the direction of the neighborhood when he suddenly spoke; stopping Amelia in her tracks.
“I’m Caiden, by the way. I live in the neighborhood near these woods.” He spoke in a hesitant yet confident way.
She looked back towards him and smiled softly, then reached out her small hand out to shake his slightly larger one.
“Me too. I’m Amelia.”
The two innocent children both shyly smiled at each other, then walked together through the lightly pouring rain toward their houses. After they parted ways, their memory of each other faded as the days passed, until their meeting in the forest was forgotten.
As if it never happened.
No comments:
Post a Comment